Wednesday 7 May 2008

I wish

I wish I wasn't so tired,
first thing in the morning,
I wish I had more patience
and more time for important things.
I wish that I could sleep,
and dream of being wish free.
I wish that life was easier,
and that help was near to me.
I wish to rid this feeling
of overwhelming despair.
I wish that I had someone,
to hold me and to care.
But today
I wish,
that i hadn't caught the sun

ouch!

This is a little of how I felt today, I wrote it myself, it's my first attempt at writing anything of any sort.

I did have an awful feeling of despair this morning, where I felt so ill equipped to be a parent, I so need help sometimes. But as the day went on and the sun shone I gradually felt happier. And got very burnt!! But what a relief to have some just, lovely weather at long last.

I had an odd dream last night. A man who claimed to be next doors' brother was in my house having a nap, then he was taking my dog for a walk, and I was supposed to go too, but then our children came into the dream so he made a cup of tea, all the time in my house, but not the house I live in, I didn't recognise it at all, anyway, I was just about to find out what his name was, and I woke up, Grrrr!
That's the most annoying thing about my dreams, I always seem to wake at the most inopportune times.
The dream made me feel kind of invaded, but not at all threatened, it was a bit like finding an old friend or something, I had mixed feelings about it, as just finding someone in my house raises a few relevant worries for me.

My leaving thought today:

Wherever people go,
whatever they may invent,
they will never discover
anything better
than a family.
-Paul Gauguin

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